Need some adivice/help with a girl... *UPDATED*

**Mervin1337** · Joined: 13 Mar 2008 Posts: 410 Location: Stockholm, Sweden

Update:
Okay, so I have now given up on this girl, she clearly wasn't intrested in me, she even said so. This came at a very good time though, a couple of days later I was at another party and met another great girl. She was into my chest muscles (lolwut, I haven't exercised in a year) and she was very handsee on them. We kissed and when I went home she followed me to the bus and had my arm around her and all that. I am more intrested in this girl than I ever was with the other one.

She added me to facebook and we started talking about all kinds of stuff and I said I was gonna take her out for Pizza sometime, "I'll pay everything, I just got my paycheck and I need to waste some" and she said something like: "WOW, sure" and then she added, "not this week though, I have a friend over who's travelled far".

My friend (who was also intrested in this girl) asked her out and she said: "I have enough problems with relationships as it is". Did she say so because she wanted to reject him in a nice way or could it be that she's not into relationships at all? I am so confused this time too, since she was all over me at the party last week.

Now Scorehero, do your magic

End of update
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Note: English is not my primary language so I'm sure there are plenty of grammar mistakes and bad phrasing, bare with me I need some help!

OK so about 3 months ago I met a girl at a friends BBQ party. We started talking about stuff and we found out that we had the same taste in music, liked the same TV shows and we both played bowling. I immediately found her both attractive and I also liked her personality and so. I was invited to her party which was going to be a few weeks after the BBQ we were at and I thought it was great. I got her phone number and we started texting (95 % on my iniative) a few times per week.

Her BBQ didn't happen because of bad water and said "You should organise something" and I did of course. Me, her and 8 other friends had a movie night at my place and it got kinda late and since she lived on the other side of town (takes about 65-70 minutes by bus) I offered her a place to sleep. She pleased with that and two of my other friends stayed too. We played Guitar Hero and Rock Band (both were her idea) and also played some cards until we decided to go to bed, she took my sisters bed (she as well as my parents were out of town) and my two other friends took a couch. The next day when all of them left she said she had a great time and was looking forward to the next get-together.

8 days later we met in a bowling alley at a competition and while we were playing I was leading the first 2 games and she came up to me and said: "Are you the best here or what?" and she smiled and walked back to her lane.

About a month later our shared friend had a movie night but nothing noteworthy happened there. The day after we talked on MSN and I told her that our shared friend said that I suck at dancing and she wondered if I wanted to join her on a dance course the upcoming week I said maybe but I'm not sure if she ever took it either.

3 days later was my graduation and I invited her to come to my party I was going to have when I got home from school and she said that she was looking forward to it.

A day before my graduation I asked her if she wanted to come along on our "Studentflak" (it's a thing here in Sweden were you stand on the back of a truck, screaming, playing music, dancing, pouring beer on your mates and getting out of control). (Posting a pic so you can see if my explanation skills are poor)

She was very excited since she got one more year before she graduates and was looking forward to it a lot.

At the day I graduated she met me at the school yard and met my family and so (which she only met briefly before, not introducing herself that time). When we went on the truck she (as well as myself) got covered in beer, champagne and cider destroying most of her clothes and her hair got messed up. When we came back to my place I offered her a shower but since she didn't have any thing to change into so she felt it was unnecessary so I took a shower myself.

During the time I was in the shower my sister lended her a dress and she changed into that but still didn't want to shower (most likely since most of my relatives were there and the shower is located in the bathroom just next to the entrance door on the bottom floor).

Then my other friends came and we had a good time together (We have a strong bond all of us). Then when she left she said something like "I had a great time today" and hugged me (our usual greeting and way to say goodbye). When she came home she texted me and said "That was the greatest shower I've taken in my whole life" (It was 7 hours after we got poured with beer and other beverages). She said she had a great time (once again) and then I went to bed.

That night I dreamed of her (this was the second time I ever did but the first dream was really messed up) and we were cuddling and kissing and stuff.

After that night she said that we (including like 10 of my friends) should go to my summer house (a private island in the archipilago) somewhere in June. I am now planning it but I'm not sure if it will happen.

I totally have a crush on her but I'm not sure if she feels the same way. How should I act so she will see that I mean business and not being stuck in the friend zone which I fear is heading my way

.

Shit, long post is long, PLEASE HELP ME

EDIT: At the BBQ party we played strip poker (I know how mature

) and I was the dealer, I gave her good cards every hand and when she won (barely taking anything of) she said: "OMG I think I love you" (note; she had been drinking booze) and she said the next day that she wasn't very serious but I still wanted to mention that.
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**9001** · Joined: 03 Sep 2008 Posts: 3690 Location: North New Jersey

Why would you ask a GH forum about girl advice?

**muna** · Joined: 04 Jun 2007 Posts: 2929 Location: South Florida

I don't know how old you are, but based on how you are graduating, I am guessing you are around 18 years old. This depends mostly on what you have talked about before. It seems from this post, like she is attracted to you. What I like to do when I find myself in a similar situation is get a mutual friend who you trust (preferably a guy) to talk to the girl to find out about her feelings towards you. That way, if she says that she is attracted to you, then you are in business. If she says that she just sees you as a good friend, then you don't have anything to worry about because you can still maintain a good friendship with her. That is just my advice though.
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**Mervin1337** · Joined: 13 Mar 2008 Posts: 410 Location: Stockholm, Sweden

**D0m0omod** · Joined: 25 Aug 2007 Posts: 848 Location: Chicago, IL

**peacelovetequila** · Joined: 22 Dec 2007 Posts: 489

Oh, I love stories like these, namely because I'm going through a similar situation at the moment, especially with the dreams. Holy shit, it's annoying to wake up from them.

Muna and D0m0omod are both right. Also, if you want a direct answer, sometimes you need a direct approach. Ask her - not in person, but via E-mail or texting or something - what she thinks of you, this way you give her more time to think of how to answer, and you are able to plan the question without making a fool of yourself. Don't overextend the charade longer than you have to. At the same time, know the consequences of actually asking. If you're shot down, it's going to hurt. For a long time.

Finally, determine what your future will be like with this girl if it ever does come to love. How committed will you be? It's never too early to plan for the best-case (or worst-case) scenario. Know your limits and goals.
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**PohatuJr** · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 1:10 am Post subject:

Just tell her how you feel. Yes, it will be awkward, but trust me, if she's a really friend, she'll stay your friend despite your feelings for her.

Who knows, maybe she likes you too. If she does, make sure that you two are willing to love each other no matter what. I just found out today that my fiance is cheating on me. Worst feeling ever. I'm young and stupid and I think all she wanted was sex (which shocks me because I'm not that good looking.) But don't worry about my shitty love life, I hope you too can be more then friends, if not, best friends.

Good luck man.

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BlahBlahJr wrote:

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Why aren't you? lol

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**joekickass1234** · Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 1436 Location: Cherry Hill NJ

**9001** · Joined: 03 Sep 2008 Posts: 3690 Location: North New Jersey

**Tracemander** · Joined: 03 Apr 2007 Posts: 140 Location: Decatur, IL

Tell her how you honestly feel. It can be extremely difficult and can make the situation awkward if things don't go right. But the only way things can go wrong is if you make things go wrong.

Tell her soon and make it feel natural. I hope the best for you and her.

Good luck mate
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**muna** · Joined: 04 Jun 2007 Posts: 2929 Location: South Florida

I was surprised how many people said to approach her directly. If you are really amazing friends, then that would probably be the best approach even though you are taking more of a risk.

Another thing you might want to try which I forgot to mention is to slowly get the truth out of her. Ask her what she thinks of you. My current girl friend actually started slowly started to reveal how she felt about me and I didn't notice it until she was basically saying it straight to me. She started off by asking me if I had a girlfriend, then if I would mind having one, then she continued in small steps until she was asking me how far I would go with a girl "doing stuff" wise. If she doesn't like you, then she will probably casually remind you that she doesn't like you as as more than a friend. If she doesn't say anything and starts to play along with you, then you can be sure that she wants to be with you.
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**Tracemander** · Joined: 03 Apr 2007 Posts: 140 Location: Decatur, IL

**ShonSuperStar** · Joined: 28 Apr 2007 Posts: 931 Location: Cardiff, Wales

**clooficarus** · Joined: 19 Feb 2007 Posts: 702 Location: Missoula, Montana

just ask her man you just have to be confident and if she says no well at least you tried and hopefully you can still be friends without it being weird.
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**DanSoup** · Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 857 Location: Sheffield, UK

Wait until you're alone together and after a few things say something along the lines of "Ya know, we should totaly go out", see what her reaction is to it. If it's a positive reaction, then go for it, you can tell her your exact feelings about her after that just to knock the point home.

If it's a negative reaction, just play the "LOL, jk, jk, I'm so drunk!" card, and die a little inside.

Other than that, mayby invite her out somewhere for dinner, just you and her (and I don't mean a fast food restaurant, a nice restaurant or something, depending on what she likes, Pizza Hut would probably cut it.)

If you feel like she might say no unless you're going with someone else, get your closest friend to come along and then leave early with some excuse (my dog ran away, need to pick someone up, blah blah.)

Then, just play it from there how you feel it should go.

Also, those sort of dreams fuck you up big time, you go to bed knowing everything and you wake up like "

"
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